Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize