I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
