Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
