I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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