He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
