Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
