I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
