Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
