Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
