her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
