I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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