So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
