Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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