then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
