her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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