it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize