operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
