I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
