I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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