We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
