the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize