She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
