ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
