And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
