Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
