i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
