Just took my morning after pill in the library
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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