If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
