new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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