p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
