this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
