Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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