i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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