While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
