It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
