spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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