vagina is talking i cant
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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