i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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