Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize