You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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