i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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