girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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