Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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