For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
