Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
