Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
