You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
