garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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