I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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