hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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