Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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