my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
