He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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