Whats the glycemic index on semen?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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