My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
