i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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