Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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