i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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