I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
