question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
