Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
