the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Fuck appropriateness.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
