Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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