I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
