I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
