My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
