that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
