After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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