well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
