marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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