I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
