I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
