I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
