4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
