just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize