a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
