You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize