I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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